#StillWithHer

9 Nov

I couldn’t post last night and for that, I apologize. I was extremely anxious and jittery about this election and I am still crying over the results. I’m not exaggerating. It’s like that cold day in hell has finally come.

My home state of Virginia scared me when it was too close to call. If it went red, I was going to disown it. And yes, that may be childish, but have you not seen what this “winner of the election” has stood for? This is not only depressing times, this is scary times. We now have someone in power that has less ability to control his 3am twitter rages than a terrible twos controlling their tantrums.

I can’t even.

All I know is I am in mourning and I want to leave Florida and possibly the US because we apparently do not see eye to eye.

PS. I made a Facebook cover. Feel free to use it if you like.

stillwithher

Wonderland: Who Are You?

6 Nov

If anything is consistent about being human, that thing would be change. There are some out there who believe the fundamental part of who we are never changes. There are some, like me, who believe we are in constant change. The subject was enough to cause a heated debate between a former friend of mine and myself. We no longer talk, but he was the utmost certain that he was the same person he was 5 years before that. I begged to differ. Who really knows though because I don’t know if I even know myself. Maybe I am the one in constant flux. One minute anxious, the next calm. Maybe I will spend my entire life trying to figure out who I am and that essentially will be who I am. Whoa, mind fuck.

I have always loved Alice in Wonderland. It’s one of my favorite books and Disney movies. Though Lewis Carroll has been rumored to be a child molester. Which breaks my heart and makes sense all at once.

I referenced Alice a lot in my 2012-2013ish blog CombatBabe, so I might refer to it a lot now. Just fair warning.

Back to me. I used to take the free versions of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator tests. I always came up an INFJ. Which I couldn’t see back when I lived a more reclusive life, but upon reading about it today; damn, it is spot on.

I don’t know that I will ever know me 100%, but I do know I am good with that. I like the way things are.

Mobile Blogging

5 Nov

I’m a libra and today I’m ruling the sun.

The drink I wish I could make, but I don’t drink.

An accurate depiction of my work life now.

Truer words haven’t been spoken.

The Pub Sub my bff was so kind to run and get for me.

A company I bet you won’t forget.

Goals.

My Life is Pretty Boring

5 Nov

I may have to quit Nano Poblano. I missed yesterday because I woke up late, had a plan with my mom to get my hair dyed, then worked all day and by the time 11pm rolled around, I had nothing to say so I shut the computer and went to sleep. I only get one day off a week, so it’s hard to have any time to blog — let alone, think of what I want to blog about.

I think I’ll just be a cheer pepper and if anything sparks me, I’ll blog. Just not every day.

 

 

Alive

2 Nov

Sometimes I wish I could just be thankful to be alive. Unfortunately, though, my mind would rather focus on all the things that could possibly kill me.

The new medicine for anxiety I was prescribed to try, the half-full water bottle I drank from after it having sat on my desk for the last three days, the omelette I ordered at Denny’s, the cold unclear water that surrounds the dock I am standing on, my brain itself for always talking my body into symptoms it’s not really experiencing.

There is more, but that’s the bulk of it.

I stopped the medicine after one day of trying it, but it did make me sick.

And the strange thing is, I have a ton of medical bills racked up from an impromptu emergency room visit last month. Money doesn’t worry me. I know it will be paid in one way or another eventually. Instead, random things like ingesting food, water, or medicine — or falling into a dark body of water for whatever reason cause me the deepest anxieties.

I’m sick and I think it’s time for some therapy.

Completely Herself – Nano Poblano Style

1 Nov

Hello and welcome Nano Poblano and NaBloPoMo readers, participators and lurkers! I’m Sarah and this here blog is mine. You can usually tell because I am a fan of pink, and my name is at the top.

It’s the little things.

One of the things you may notice is I don’t have a grand archive full of delicious content. This happens because I have always had the habit of growing stale with what I’ve created so I cut what I feel like and start over. I am trying to break myself of that habit with this one.

So this introduction to myself and my blog is going to be based more on what I can tell you now, than what I can show you.

The Blogger aka Sarah Nicole

I am in my 30s, like 31 years and 27 days if you’re more exact. I live in South Florida which I have desperate desires to leave. I’m over palm trees, in fact I may have Palm Tree-itis. Not a fatal disease, but something to be cautious of. I have a boyfriend who is 25 years my senior so I truly enjoy calling him a boyfriend. And I work in accounting and reception at a car dealership that has NO dealer fees, 1 Price marked below MSRP so no haggling, and something else that’s cool and catchy but I can’t remember because I’m not in sales.

I do have Bipolar Disorder and that’s something I may mention or not depending on how I feel. It’s a fine line between maintaining mental health and fighting the stigma. Sometimes it gets to me so I just like to pretend it’s not there. Which is easy since I have a great psychic psychiatrist.

Again, little things.

The Blog aka Sarah Nicole – Completely Herself

I want this to be as open and real as can be. That’s my goal for this blog. I want it to be a collection of my thoughts, opinions, stories, ideas, and maybe some creations of I don’t know what yet. I do have a camera so I may share my pics if I am ever so emboldened to take it out and shoot random photos of people who don’t mind if I capture their souls. Okay, I’m a little weird so I want to capture that, too.

Anyway, thank you so much for dropping in. Feel free to leave your mark however you like or not at all if that suits you best.

Happy Nano Poblano/NaBloPoMo !!!!